The other day, in one of those moments of discomfort you get when the boss does not consider you, the boyfriend ignores you and Belen Rodriguez looks on TV with the air of a tiger in abstinence from steak and you to react stoically you managed to finish the jar of Nutella (which can end so fast ???), I had the WORST idea that it can be to a woman in such conditions ... .. an idea that in theory it should get you on morale but in practice will have a devastating effect on your mood: go shopping. Shopping is a great antidote to the 'misery if and only if:
1) you have enough money to buy something. ... Otherwise you can end up as a drooling stuck to a window without being able to go to buy your object of desire -> rapid increase in the sense of frustration
2) the contract or is a process or has enough tact not to bother making you notice that you asked for pants two sizes smaller than your actual size (but then say "yeah but why this cut as close ....)
3) mirrors and the lights of the shop are chosen ad hoc
It is on this last point that I would like a second and do with you, dear friends, a brief reflection, but if the stores want to ... sell ... why they often choose the mirrors that make you look like beached un'otaria and lights that make your thighs look like the surface of a volcano that just erupted?
In theory, to promote the purchase, should try to make you feel beautiful ... ... taller, leaner, more agile ... but no ... .. you look and you're a piece of Emmenthal vaguely cubical shape. The cellulite on my ass does not seem a blemish ... no ... it looks like a thousand-year plague. ... A concentration of craters a devastating ... .. up and down with sadness.
Not to mention the skin color: white spotlights merciless ice make us all look like the vampire ....
pity though that in the twilight vampire Where's My Car ... and they are all definitely out of the dressing room we do not find Edward (and dare I say ... Thank God views our conditions ...), but some committed (sometimes bitch) tells us "but coooome staiiii beneeeeeee "in a tone of vague connection for c *** (at that time but we are so angry that we could misinterpret anything).
But we want to talk about sizes?
Now .... I understand that being lean and fit is important ... but I explained what they eat what they can get into size 36?? They live on air and bean sprouts? Virtually
their thighs are as my arms ... ... I've already tried every kind of diet: soup, ice cream, pineapple, purifying, based on maple syrup, and so on and so forth. The result? I was becoming mentally dissociated. ... After the diet deviated.
And this year, in addition to bother with the bounty, we must also crack down on the foot. ... Yes, because when you walk into a store and you measure those beautiful shoes with the plateau, that make you seem high even if you are 1.85 High 1.65 (cheating), you're fine ... but why? Why are you still in plastic pose or upset by your height and dizziness or just two little steps just to see the effect it does. But AFTER avete mai provato a camminare sul porfido del centro di Torino tutto buchi e fessurine bastarde con quelle scarpe?
Io ho aspettato un’ora e mezza prima di attraversare la strada per paura di rimanere incastrata come una demente…..sono stata guardata con pietà persino da una vecchietta, che, ovviamente, mi ha subito superata in velocità….ed io lì a cercare di camminare su quei trampoli con la leggiadria di un ippopotamo zoppo e la nonchalance di mister magoo.
Ora…..chiedetevi……ma chi ce lo fare???
Le soluzioni sono tre:
1)scegliere in modo oculato i negozi…magari uscirete con un vestito schifoso ma con un bel sorriso sentendovi bellissime (il then observe that all of your colorful dress style Platinette is a negligible detail)
2) stop swallowing unseasoned vegetables, mash and whole foods and join in the gym (the gym but we will talk about next time)
3) change any boyfriend ... at the bottom of Belen Rodriguez will find it hard not to yield to his irresistible charm Latin ... no?
And let us stop to measure clothes holding his breath as if we were in apnea: life must be taken with irony in all its forms
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